Life After Lockup: Risk, Lies and Boundaries

Clint and Tracie

Clint is working with his dad or better yet badgering his dad into making Mama Clint accept Tracie. I’m team Mama Clint here – stick to your boundaries and don’t meet Tracie. Tracie is out shopping in all of her glitter eyeshadow straight out of 1998. She heads into a furniture store trying to give her house with Clint a “women’s touch”. Ok. Tracie starts telling her life story to the poor sales associate who says that she will Tracie’s friend for the day. Girl, you’re not going to last an hour, trust me. After buy a comforter, Tracie plans to hightail it home but instead makes her way to the local watering hole with the comforter. A disaster. There she orders tequila and pours her heart out to the poor bartender who is moonlighting as a therapist as well. SMH. Tracie arrives home to find a bewildered Clint who thought Tracie had relapsed with only 22 hours left on her parole. Tracie explains that she was lonely and went to the bar but didn’t have a drink. She no longer needs alcohol. Clint lets her know that Father Clint has invited them over for brunch with Mama Clint’s blessing. That should be one interesting brunch – hopefully it’s all you can drink. 

Michael, Meghan and Sarah

We pick up with our favorite threesome with Sarah screaming into the phone at Michael. All this stress can’t be good for baby or my ears. Bloody hell Sarah divorce this man already and just co-parent. He doesn’t want you. Sarah is mostly pissed because Meghan picked up Michael from jail AND he didn’t call her as soon as he got out. She keeps saying he should have called Aviannah but really she’s pissed because he didn’t call her first. Basically there is a lot of yelling from Sarah and Michael calming asking if she wants a divorce, explaining he doesn’t have a GF (uhhh what?), and that he wants to coparent. It’s clear he’s checked out of all front of his relationship. He text Meghan to come pick him up since Sarah has him all stressed out…it’s 5:30 and he has to be back by 7pm.  Michael asked Meghan if she’s been with anyone else when he has a WHOLE wife and a child on the way. A child he made while out of prison the first time. I don’t even know why he bothered but Day Day request that Meghan return her brother by 7pm so he doesn’t fuck up parole on day 1. He can fuck on day 2.

Lamar and Andrea

The only person that is excited to see Lamar is the little baby. She’s jumping on the couch ala Tom Cruise and spelling Dad. She needs to spell L-O-S-E-R. Tennyson and Nyla barely speak to Lamar because they no longer trust him after his recent return to prison. Lamar wants soul food even though Andrea and Nyla went to the store to make him a home cooked meal. Nyla explains that they worked hard to prepare him a meal but Lamar’s selfish behind doesn’t want to wait for a homecooked meal. Oy! They head out to a soul food restaurant for his first meal back in society. Andrea wasted her tears in the produce section for nothing. Nyla wants an apology but Lamar skirts around apologizing to the family for his behavior.

LIzzie and Scott

This week Lizzie taught us how to make prison cheese sauce: Cheetos and water. Yum. Why is Lizzie still making meals like she’s in prison. You’re in the free world. You can afford actual cheese now. Jasz comes over for dinner and looks appalled at the cheese sauce. Hopefully Lizzie didn’t serve only that for dinner. Lizzie talks over her date which was horrible and how she almost called Scott. Lizzie misses Scott and his willingness to give her money...she’s thinking about giving him another chance. Jasz is rightfully upset and gives her mom and ultimatum – him or her. Bad move Jasz because Mama Bear is going to do what Mama Bear.

Brittany and Marcelino

Brittany and Marcelino are headed to the lawyer to figure out custody for Giovanni. Brittany’s baby daddy, Tito, filed and won full custody while Brittany was in prison or just out of prison. She never received the notice of the trial and the court granted Tito custody. However, Gio has been staying with Brittany and Marcelino since she’s been out of prison. Brittany only wants 50/50 custody and rights to her son. Fair enough. Marcellino wants full custody which Brittany and the lawyer think is a big mistake with Brittany’s record. I agree as well. Later that evening Marcellino doubles down on his desire for full custody. He thinks Tito is a low life (ummm…what about your prison bae wife?) and a horrible father (he missed a birthday and thanksgiving). Marcellino believes that Gio is better off with him and Brittany…but Brittany still doesn’t want to go head to head with Tito. Me thinks Tito probably has something on Brittany.

I must note that I’ve been a bit bored by the start of this season. I was so looking forward to it but it is a little meh. Hopefully it gets better!

 

 

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Life After Lockup: Premiere Recap

I use to think that TLC was doing the lord’s work with Life After Lockup premiering on Friday I’ve realized it isn’t TLC doing the lord’s work but actually Sharp Entertainment. TLC is Noah’s ark and Sharp Entertainment is the flood. You know exactly what I mean.

Anyway, I’ve never really wrote a recap before but my favorite recapper has left my favorite reality tv website so I’m throwing myself into this because I need to talk about these people and Life After Lockup.

Let’s get started shall well? Yes, yes, we shall.

Meghan, Michael and Sarah

I can’t explain it for the life of me how the tiny felon has these two women so wound up and fighting over him but here we are. We re-introduced to Meghan and her naivety when she is doing a face mask wearing a FULL FACE OF MAKEUP with her friend B. During their face mask bonding time, Meghan receives a call from Mike aka BAE. That is absolutely right, Mike is still BAE. How? What? Where? Why? All legit questions to ask especially since I was rooting for Meghan last season.

I honestly thought she didn’t know about Michael and his trifling ways. Turns out she now knows that Mike is triflin, has a WHOLE WIFE who is PREGNANT and she is still calling him BAE. Makes absolutely no f-n sense. Just writing this I’m shaking my head.

B is just as confused as the viewers on why Meghan is still taking Mike’s prepaid calls and calling him Bae. Drink up B you’re going to need a drink as do I but I’ve got a few more months until I can enjoy a cold one. Michael doesn’t stay on the phone too long not wanting to interrupt face mask time or perhaps not wanting to waste his precious pre-paid minutes on Meghan and her friend B.

Meghan can’t even articulate why she’s still giving Michael the time of day. To be fair, neither can Sarah.

Speaking of Sarah, she’s out with two friends shopping for her second daughter. Sarah is due at any point with her second child with her HUSBAND. She keeps saying that like he’s some great prize she’s won. We get it Sarah. You’re married to the Tiny Felon. The same tiny felon who had a WHOLE nother relationship on you WHILE IN PRISON and yet you still let him impregnate you while he made a fool of you on national TV. One more thing, Sarah, stop calling Meghan fat. You aren’t skinny either. The two of you need to stop fat shaming each other, tag team Michael, and go live your best lives.

Meghan has decided to fly to Flint to pick up Michael from his recent parole violation stint to find that is mom and sister are also there to pick him up. Missing is Sarah who claims to have never missed a pick up…deep sigh. Meghan confront Mike’s sister about some twitter beef. Meghan walks back to her car requesting a Xanax (so her secret isn’t that she’s pregnant – got it!) and DayDay walks across an icy parking lot to sign out her brother for hopefully (but probably not) the last time. Lordt, that was A LOT.

Brittany & Marcellino

Brittany continues to impress me not only because she spells our name correctly but because she is not one to take any of Marcellino and his passive aggressive bullshit. I didn’t think they would make it but they look strong. They’ve purchased a house, got married and had a daughter. Marcellino is still pissed off about Brittany being friends with ex-felons but what is an ex-felon to do? She has spent the majority of her formative years in jail…her only friends are those with felonies. Man, just let her live her best life.

Sascha and Amanda come over for a little tour of the new digs and are very impressed. Honestly, the house beats the ciderblocks from that first apartment. Marcellino passively aggressively brings out the baby and inquires why Brittany isn’t holding her child. She’s pouring the white wine duh. Pass the baby to Amanda and chill.

The jaw dropping part of their scenes was that Sascha was booked in LV county (wonder if she met Larissa – crossover!) on a MURDER charge. Yes, that is right, pretty little Sascha was tried with murder, attempted murder, robbery and a whole bunch of other shit. She’s looking at around 10 – 30 years. She’s already done four years in county and bonded out around the time that Brittany started filming last year….

She’s remorseful for what she did and wants to offer her heartfelt condolences to the victim’s family. I can’t even snark here. This shit is DEEP….like that Morgan Freeman ocean movie DEEP.

Amanda and Brittany offer to set Sascha up with a profile on writeaprisoner.com and other inmate dating websites so Sascha will at least have that to keep her warm when she’s sentenced.

Scott & Lizzie

Somehow this is still a thing. Why? No clue. Lizzie and Jazzie go keep mama bear and cub tattoos where Jazz explains how happy she is her mom is doing things on her own for the first time in her life. Of course, Lizzie is feeling lonely and has recently been thinking about Scott. She’d like to start talking to him again bc the novelty of having a job has worn off.

Scott is back in California shopping for an outfit for his date that evening with his BFF. He should date Sharlean but that would make too much sense so here we are.

Clint & Tracie

Tracie is a poster child for what drugs can do to the body. It is like looking at a whole different person from when we first met her to now. Yowzer. Don’t do drugs kids.

Tracie is two days away from being off parole for the first time in a decade. Clint is rightly nervous and keeps going over the rules with her for her final 48 hours.

Tracie and Clint are getting in the mood she is straddling him after all when she ask to meet his mother mid-straddle. Talk about a mood killer.

Clint dodges the question knowing damn well his mother has no desire to methis crack head meth looking wife. Clint does go to his mom’s house and ask if she’d give Tracie another chance but Momma Clint in her blue eyeliner glory remains weary of meeting Tracie.

Tracie says that she’s met all his other girlfriends to which Clint wisely responds, “Well they’ve known stolen a car from me.” He should have added nor left me on our wedding night to go get crack. I’m just saying. It is the truth.

Andrea and Lamar

For all of the nonsense that Andrea shows on TV she must be a decent mother because her kids are intelligent, sensitive and articulate. All words that I wouldn’t use to describe Andrea. She’s dick starved and it shows. She needs to make better decisions for her children.  Tennyson was dropping realness and facts as he prepared dinner for the family at 9pm. He was fair in his assessment of Lamar returning for his recent parole violation stint as well as his concern for his mom going alone to pick up her husband. Her daughter Nyla was spot on as she went over the situation. Andrea needs to take herself and her kids back to Utah and live her best Mormon life. Go back to Utah Andrea. Do not pass go.

Well, until next Friday. I’ll be tweeting this and other Sharp Entertainment so follow me @uptownbrittany.Read More »

Real American, Julie Lythcott-Haims Books ‘Real American’ tackles cultural and self acceptance

Real American, a memoir written by Julie Lythcott-Haims, is a process of socialization and cultural acceptance. Lythcott-Haims, a New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult, invites us into her life experiences over a series of prose. Prose that will make you laugh, scratch your head (only 3 visits to a black salon), and cry.

We’re introduced into her world with a question that most well-spoken black folk have been asked, “Where are you from?” A loaded question masked as an innocent one. Lythcott-Haims hits the nail on head when she writes, “The truth is, that’s not what they were asking”. There is an unintended racial bias with that question. It isn’t about understanding someone but more so classifying how they occupy a space that you thought was closed off to them. It is a microaggression. And Lythcott-Haims has spent her entire life experience haphazardly dodging microaggressions whilst making those around her comfortable with her otherness.

Lythcott-Haims is the byproduct of a Black father born in the Jim Crow South and a white British mother. Her parents met and fell in love in Accra, Ghana.  Lythcott- Haims, born in Nigeria, spent the first three years of her life living in Nigeria, before moving to New York City, Northern VA, and Wisconsin. She eventually settled in Northern California with her husband, Dan.

Most of the microaggressions Lythcott-Haims experienced whereby her white peers in high school, college, and law school. However, her father put her in a position to have these experiences. He made the active decision to relocate his family from racially diverse Washington DC to rural Wisconsin. A town 45 minutes outside of Madison with only one other black family.

Lythcott-Haims recalls the time a neighbor’s daughter mistakenly thought her father was the gardener. The daughter with a racial prejudice she didn’t realize she had, couldn’t understand a black man owning a home within that town. Many fathers, of all races, mow their own lawns but when spotting Lythcott-Haims father proudly riding his lawnmower around his yard, she assumed he was the gardener.

Adolescence in Wisconsin was difficult for Lythcott-Haims. She experienced blatant racism on her 17th birthday when a classmate attempted to write Nigger on the birthday decorations covering her locker. Her inept classmate wrote, “Niger”, instead, but even in his error, he inflicted damage on Lythcott-Haims that would last a lifetime. Her father also explained to her that white boys will only be your friend and never your boyfriend, leaving her insecure and begging the question, why did you bring me to this town?

Lythcot-Haims spent her college and law school years living up to expectations that weren’t entirely hers but the expectations of peers, whether real or perceived. For example, she took classes that didn’t interest her at Stanford only because her dormmate took those classes.  After failing most of her fall quarter, she eventually took classes that piqued her interest, leading her to public policy and political science. The high-powered job she landed after Harvard Law School in Silicon Valley was only because she didn’t want her peers to think she could only work within public advocacy or non-profits. The insecurities of Lythcott-Haim were exhausting and fascinating to read.

Lythcott-Haims met her husband Dan at Stanford. A white man who loves her even though her father once told her a white man would never be her boyfriend. Within her relationship with Dan, Lythcott-Haims becomes comfortable with her curly textured hair and stops painstakingly straightening it every day.

There is no doubt that she loves Dan and the life she has made with him. But she struggles with not being able to give her Black son a Black father, to help him walk this world as a Black man. In the same token, she also struggles to accept that her daughter is racially ambiguous. The clarity that she had gained in her relationship with Dan was eroded with her fears for her children’s experience in a world that isn’t always accepting of Black people and their lives.

Lythcott-Haims speaks very fondly of her father throughout her memoir, only criticizing him when she eventually has the courage to ask her mother why she let her father place them in such a white community. A community that left her feeling alienated, alone, and insecure.

Real American left me wondering if her life would be different if she grew up in the midst of a more racially diverse community or even among her black relatives. Instead of growing into an insecure and racially confused adult, perhaps she would have been a confident and thriving Black woman before the age of fifty.

Disclaimer: The author of this review received a complimentary copy of Real American.

This review originally appeared on BlackGirlsNerds.

Back to Basics.

I’ve taken a step back from my natural hair care regimen. I’ve stopped making my whipped shea butter cream and avocado conditioner and have taken it back to the basics. I’m just using water, oil (jojoba & almond), and a Shea Moisture conditioner.

My twist outs aren’t as epic as they used to be but I’m going to start making flax seed gel (again). Since going back to the basics I’ve noticed that my scalp isn’t nearly as dry and I don’t have huge dandruff flakes in my hair. These suckers were huge and itchy but since going back to a simple routine I’ve noticed that my scalp is better moisturized and I don’t have flakes.

I thought that I had seborrheic dermatitis (aka seborrheic ezcema) which would be fitting as I’ve suffered from ezcema since I was a child. However with a little bit of change my scalp is feeling a lot better. This doesn’t mean I’ve left my avocado conditioner forever but that I needed a bit of a break.

My new routine:

  • Cowash hair every other week with Shea Moisture Conditioner
    • I let the conditioner set for about 45 minutes – two hours
  • Part hair and massage a mixture of  jojoba oil & tea tree oil
      • Both are excellent for fighting dandruff and my dry scalp
      • You can also use it to remove makeup as well (bonus)
  • After my scalp massage I part my hair and detangle with a spray bottle filled with water and tea tree oil

My hair seems to like it and I’m enjoying keeping things simple as I roll into fall!

I’m Back.

It’s been well over a year since I’ve sat down and really wrote on NSB. A year is entirely too long and I didn’t realize how much I missed writing until I logged into WordPress. I miss you guys and I hope you miss me too.

There’s more coming…I’ll write you all soon!

 

Liebster Award Nomination:

Yoga and Donuts, was kind enough to nominate me for a Liebster Award! Thank you so much for the love Yoga and Donuts 🙂

This award is given by bloggers to other bloggers, recognizing bloggers and encouraging new bloggers and readers. I am definitely encouraged to continue writing  about my experience being Nappy, Sweaty, and Broke and sharing some of my favorite blogs! As part of the nomination I need to do the following:

Acknowledge who nominated me (thank you Yoga and Donuts)
Answer the eleven questions they’ve listed (below!)
Share eleven random facts about myself – this should be very interesting!
Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers and give them 11 questions to answer

My 11 Questions
1. What made you want to start blogging? This is my second time blogging and I wanted to start NSB because I’ve recently started a new adventure and thought it would be great to properly document everything that I’ll be doing while teaching yoga, living in Australia and traveling the world.
2. If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go? If I could go anywhere on vacation I would go to Portland, Maine. There is nothing better than Maine in the fall (well maybe Maine in the summer!).I started visiting Maine while I was living in New York City. I am a massive lover of seafood and lobster in particular and where else to get fresh lobster than Maine? I got the idea to road trip to Maine in the fall of 2009 and took off with two friends for a great weekend in Maine (New Hampshire). Maine (and Portland) in particular have a very special place in my heart – I decided to attend teacher training while I was in Maine on June 7th, 2014.
3. What is your favorite thing about yourself? My Smile.
4. Who is your favorite band? Of all time? Hands down TLC. I loved listening to them as a little girl – Left Eye was my favorite. Right now, I would have to say that Galatic is my favorite band.
5. What is the last book you read? The last book I read was A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald – I love reading about the writers of the Lost Generation from their wives perspectives. F. Scott Fitzgerald is one of my favorite authors and it was interesting to read about him from his wife’s perspective.
6. What is your biggest, most irrational, pet peeve? Sniffling – if you’re sniffling please blow your nose. It’s easy – pick up a tissue and blow your nose. Thank you! Also, leaving hair in the shower drain; it’s just gross.
7. What is your favorite food? Lobster. In any form – lazy lobster, boiled, fried, sauteed, etc.
8. If you could do anything (occupation) what would you do? I would be a novelist.
9. What was your most proud moment? Leaving NYC
10. What did you learn from your biggest regret? Not applying to Howard University.
11. What is your favorite post that you have written to date and why? My favorite post is a post I’ve recently written – Don’t Close Your Eyes. I love this post because it goes deeper than just the yoga. It’s a post about loving yourself and always being open to seeing yourself.

Eleven Random Facts About Me:

1. I was born at 9:18 on Sunday January 13th, 1985
2. Both my mom and I are capicorns
3. I hardly ever wear matching socks – weirdly enough as I’m writing this my socks match but that’s the exception not the rule
4. At the age of 16 I had a 1990 gold sedan cavalier that I called the gold mine
5. After that I had a purple cavalier that I named the purple
6. I’ve always wanted to be a cheerleader
7. My first job was a busboy (busgirl!) at Bob Evans
8. I worked at Bob Evans for four years (16 – 20)
9. My nickname is Btown that I got from summer camp – I was a camp counselor
10. I also wanted to go to summer camp but my mom wouldn’t send me so I went as camp counselor and had the best summer
11. I love Jiffy mix blueberry muffins – my grandmother would make them for me growing up.

My Nominee – I don’t follow a lot of blogs but I would like to nominate the following blog:

1. https://naturallyrissuh.wordpress.com/

Questions:

1. Who is the biggest influence in your life?
2. What is the book that you can read over and over?
3. What is your favorite movie?
4. Why did you start writing your blog?
5. What’s your favorite quote?
6. Who is your favorite author?
7. What do you do on a lazy Sunday? 8. If you could travel anywhere where would you go?
9. What’s your favorite room in your house?
10. What is your favorite food?
11. What is the one meal that you cook for yourself all the time?